Move Over, Sam
May 13, 2016 3:09 PM Subscribe
On Monday, President Obama signed HR 2908 into law, making the American Bison the National Mammal of the USA! (Bison bison bison and bison bison athabascae, as The New Yorker explains in its coverage.) At least some of the credit should go to the Vote Bison and Beards For Bison campaigns and affiliates.
Celebrate by reading up on Bison at the NWF, the WWF, the DOI, U of M, and Wikipedia, looking up some Bison on BISON, adopting a housebroken Bison, joining the NBA, visiting the Minnesota Zoo, or drinking a beer and having a burger.
Celebrate by reading up on Bison at the NWF, the WWF, the DOI, U of M, and Wikipedia, looking up some Bison on BISON, adopting a housebroken Bison, joining the NBA, visiting the Minnesota Zoo, or drinking a beer and having a burger.
I totally expected the "Joining the NBA" to be something about Bison Dele
posted by srboisvert at 3:16 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by srboisvert at 3:16 PM on May 13, 2016
having a burger.
Celebrate bison by killing and eating one?
posted by indubitable at 3:18 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Celebrate bison by killing and eating one?
posted by indubitable at 3:18 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Noble and delicious.
posted by NoxAeternum at 3:18 PM on May 13, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 3:18 PM on May 13, 2016 [8 favorites]
For you, the day bison graced your nation was the most important day of your life. But for the bison, it was Tuesday.
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:19 PM on May 13, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:19 PM on May 13, 2016 [9 favorites]
Celebrate bison by killing and eating one?
Yeah! Our national mammal is quite tasty.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:21 PM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
Yeah! Our national mammal is quite tasty.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:21 PM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
Celebrate bison by killing and eating one?
"You put our national bird in the oven, is that correct?"
posted by teponaztli at 3:21 PM on May 13, 2016
"You put our national bird in the oven, is that correct?"
posted by teponaztli at 3:21 PM on May 13, 2016
Counterpoint: Calling the Bison Our National Mammal Is the Worst Kind of Greenwashing:
posted by dialetheia at 3:23 PM on May 13, 2016 [23 favorites]
If we like our bison domesticated, held behind fences, and commodified for the dinner plate, then there is much to celebrate: Of the approximately 500,000 buffalo in this country, the majority are privately owned, have been interbred with cattle, and are raised for meat production. These would be more accurately classified as “beefalo.” Fewer than 10,000 remain genetically pure, and almost all of these exist within fenced areas that prevent them from doing what bison do best, which is roam. Buffalo ranching is unquestionably doing well in this country, with commercial buffalo grown in all 50 states. But that's hardly a conservation success story.Hunting of bison also played a pivotal role in Native American genocide during the Plains Indian Wars: Colonel Dodge said in 1867, “Every buffalo dead is an Indian gone,” and Delano wrote in his 1872 annual report, “The rapid disappearance of game from the former hunting-grounds must operate largely in favor of our efforts to confine the Indians to smaller areas, and compel them to abandon their nomadic customs.”
What you don't hear amid all the noise surrounding the Bison Legacy Act is anything about the continued mismanagement of the last truly wild bison. These herds have existed on the American landscape since prehistoric times but are now found only in in Yellowstone National Park, where they survive under a management program defined by round-up, quarantine, and slaughter conducted in the interest of a far more powerful icon of the American West: the livestock rancher. Ranchers fear the invasion of bison into grazing areas where cows are considered the only deserving users of the public domain. (Ranchers also believe, without any scientific basis, that bison pose a disease threat to cattle.)
posted by dialetheia at 3:23 PM on May 13, 2016 [23 favorites]
I feel this is a good choice. Visited a (oddly named) preserve in Indiana in 2009. Said animals were huge and got a little unsettlingly close to the truck we were one. One of them also ran and, yes, you wouldn't want to be in the way. I say oddly named as 'preserve', um, we ate bison burgers there afterwards. They were admittedly delicious BUT IT WAS A NOBLE BEAST. Just also, unfortunately, a very delicious one.
posted by Wordshore at 3:23 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Wordshore at 3:23 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Please do not celebrate this new status by taking selfies with bison, as [previously] discussed.
posted by sparklemotion at 3:27 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by sparklemotion at 3:27 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Bison bison bison and bison bison athabascae
I think you mean "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
posted by The Tensor at 3:28 PM on May 13, 2016 [5 favorites]
I think you mean "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
posted by The Tensor at 3:28 PM on May 13, 2016 [5 favorites]
Q: What did the buffalo dad say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
S: Bison!
I've got a million of these!
posted by teponaztli at 3:32 PM on May 13, 2016 [9 favorites]
S: Bison!
I've got a million of these!
posted by teponaztli at 3:32 PM on May 13, 2016 [9 favorites]
No, I'm just kidding, that was the only one.
posted by teponaztli at 3:32 PM on May 13, 2016 [19 favorites]
posted by teponaztli at 3:32 PM on May 13, 2016 [19 favorites]
How have I never heard of cross-breeding bison with cattle until now? Seriously? Wow, some of the beefalo/cattalo are disturbingly wrong-looking creatures. Just because I haven't gotten to this point in my web research yet, what's the point? To increase the size of cattle? To make buffalo meat more tender and more palatable?
posted by sardonyx at 3:33 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by sardonyx at 3:33 PM on May 13, 2016
Oh give me a home
Where the bison can't roam
And their meat's usually sold out for cash
Where seldom contained
Rampant wildfires range
Making skies all cloudy with ash
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:39 PM on May 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
Where the bison can't roam
And their meat's usually sold out for cash
Where seldom contained
Rampant wildfires range
Making skies all cloudy with ash
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:39 PM on May 13, 2016 [4 favorites]
What better creature to be our national mammal than one we've almost perfectly extirpated and whose natural environment has been shattered to flinders.
posted by wotsac at 3:45 PM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by wotsac at 3:45 PM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
Okay, back from some more quick Web study.
This says the point of the cross was winter hardiness. This herd is overrun with cow genes.
This creature looks wrong to me--something about the eyes and the shape of the head. So does the one on this page.
Fascinating. Thanks for introducing me to an entirely new thing, dialetheia.
posted by sardonyx at 3:46 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
This says the point of the cross was winter hardiness. This herd is overrun with cow genes.
This creature looks wrong to me--something about the eyes and the shape of the head. So does the one on this page.
Fascinating. Thanks for introducing me to an entirely new thing, dialetheia.
posted by sardonyx at 3:46 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Celebrate bison by killing and eating one?
The bison downsizing horizon's arising.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:08 PM on May 13, 2016
The bison downsizing horizon's arising.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:08 PM on May 13, 2016
Bison bison bison bison bison bison bison.
Did I do that right?
Depends: were you chanting, or perhaps saying its name 2 and 1/3rds times?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:10 PM on May 13, 2016
Did I do that right?
Depends: were you chanting, or perhaps saying its name 2 and 1/3rds times?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:10 PM on May 13, 2016
Huh - ya learn something everyday.
Silly me - - I had just sorta assumed that the role of "National Mammal of the United States" was already filled by Homo sapiens.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 4:13 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Silly me - - I had just sorta assumed that the role of "National Mammal of the United States" was already filled by Homo sapiens.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 4:13 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
I think you mean "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
For people who don't like clicking on links, what this translates to is "Bison from Buffalo who are confused by other bison from Buffalo themselves go on to confuse yet a third group of bison from Buffalo."
"Honeoye honeoye Honeoye honeoye honeoye honeoye Honeoye honeoye" or "Skaneatles skaneatles Skaneatles skaneatles skaneatles skaneatles Skaneatles skaneatles" wouldn't have worked nearly as well.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:27 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
For people who don't like clicking on links, what this translates to is "Bison from Buffalo who are confused by other bison from Buffalo themselves go on to confuse yet a third group of bison from Buffalo."
"Honeoye honeoye Honeoye honeoye honeoye honeoye Honeoye honeoye" or "Skaneatles skaneatles Skaneatles skaneatles skaneatles skaneatles Skaneatles skaneatles" wouldn't have worked nearly as well.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:27 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
s/skaneatles/skaneateles/g
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:32 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:32 PM on May 13, 2016
It's not even uniquely North American - the wisent is still found in Europe.
The Bobcat and Bighorn, with small forays into Southern Canada and Northern Mexico, are far more American. The wild Black Footed Ferret and Columbia Basin Pygmy Rabbit are completely American, and totes adorbs. If you want a big, tough uniquely American mammal, I will submit for your consideration the Red Wolf.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:43 PM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
The Bobcat and Bighorn, with small forays into Southern Canada and Northern Mexico, are far more American. The wild Black Footed Ferret and Columbia Basin Pygmy Rabbit are completely American, and totes adorbs. If you want a big, tough uniquely American mammal, I will submit for your consideration the Red Wolf.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:43 PM on May 13, 2016 [3 favorites]
I would have suggested that mammal most emblematic of America - the weasel.
posted by sudogeek at 4:55 PM on May 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by sudogeek at 4:55 PM on May 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
Columbia Basin Pygmy Rabbit
oooooomg squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE
posted by numaner at 5:04 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
oooooomg squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE
posted by numaner at 5:04 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
and now I'm super sad that the pure bred died out in 2008! Oh those poor unadaptable wittle wabbits.
posted by numaner at 5:06 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by numaner at 5:06 PM on May 13, 2016
Ain't the rabbit's fault.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:25 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:25 PM on May 13, 2016
I've had bison burgers, they're really not that good. Too lean, fat=flavor, remember?
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Then why is it so popular? Honest question; I've had (bison? beefalo?) burger - hey, I live in Portland, what can I say - and it didn't taste a whole lot different.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:58 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:58 PM on May 13, 2016
I don't know how I feel about having my own joke explained to me as if I made it accidentally.
Would you say you're feeling
YYYYYYEAAAAAH
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:00 PM on May 13, 2016 [8 favorites]
Would you say you're feeling
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)Buffaloed?
YYYYYYEAAAAAH
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:00 PM on May 13, 2016 [8 favorites]
They are indeed, the quintessential AMERICAN mammal. This has been known since the early 50's!
posted by droplet at 6:35 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by droplet at 6:35 PM on May 13, 2016
I celebrated by having a national mammal steak for dinner tonight! Bison are wonderful, though, I have a tattoo of one and visit the pair at the National Zoo often. I also recommend this video, three hours of grazing bison. And an alternate beer option, Flying Bison.
The Buffalo Bisons, an MiLB team, released this tremendous photo of mascot Buster, clearly overjoyed by the news.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:45 PM on May 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
The Buffalo Bisons, an MiLB team, released this tremendous photo of mascot Buster, clearly overjoyed by the news.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 6:45 PM on May 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
Like anything else, bison is all in the preparation. It can be dry in the wrong hands and glorious in the others. For example, there's a basic burger joint in Bismarck ND that makes a simple bison cheeseburger that is to die for.
posted by Ber at 6:47 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Ber at 6:47 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
How have I never heard of cross-breeding bison with cattle until now?
Oh that's nothing. Just wait until I get finished crossing them with velociraptors. Nothing can possibly go wrong with that...
posted by happyroach at 6:49 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh that's nothing. Just wait until I get finished crossing them with velociraptors. Nothing can possibly go wrong with that...
posted by happyroach at 6:49 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have the feeling that 'housebroken, bison' is something you would write on an insurance claim form.
posted by adept256 at 6:50 PM on May 13, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by adept256 at 6:50 PM on May 13, 2016 [5 favorites]
Hmmm! This just gets me started. It is the North American Buffalo!
What if there was a law that we were only allowed to call things by names decided by scientists? We'd all be speaking in corrupted Latin and Greek, no doubt. So why do we give scientists this power with animals? Let them call it Bison Bison or whatever they want to.
But for everyone else it used to be, as far back as the 1500s, the Buffalo (long before Bison was an English word). The word is an important part of American history. Some say that the name comes from a Native Amercan word and has nothing to do with African Buffalos. But scientists told us we can't call it that anymore, and we obey!
Lets be complete and rename the city Bison, New York and rewrite the history books about Bison Bill and the Bison Nickel.
rant over, for now
posted by eye of newt at 8:23 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
What if there was a law that we were only allowed to call things by names decided by scientists? We'd all be speaking in corrupted Latin and Greek, no doubt. So why do we give scientists this power with animals? Let them call it Bison Bison or whatever they want to.
But for everyone else it used to be, as far back as the 1500s, the Buffalo (long before Bison was an English word). The word is an important part of American history. Some say that the name comes from a Native Amercan word and has nothing to do with African Buffalos. But scientists told us we can't call it that anymore, and we obey!
Lets be complete and rename the city Bison, New York and rewrite the history books about Bison Bill and the Bison Nickel.
rant over, for now
posted by eye of newt at 8:23 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
But the recipe for Bison Wings just isn't quite as good as the original...
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:18 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:18 PM on May 13, 2016
I can confirm that bison are delicious as steaks or smokies. Bison stew is pretty great, too.
I'm a bit confused by the "fenced in and badly treated" thing, though. Is that beefalo, for the most part?
I've met a few people up here that raise them, and they all admit that there's SFA they can do about it if they want to leave. Their approaches to it all basically boiled down to building a Bison Fun Park and hoping that they don't all decide that they like the neighbour's land better.
posted by Kreiger at 9:25 PM on May 13, 2016
I'm a bit confused by the "fenced in and badly treated" thing, though. Is that beefalo, for the most part?
I've met a few people up here that raise them, and they all admit that there's SFA they can do about it if they want to leave. Their approaches to it all basically boiled down to building a Bison Fun Park and hoping that they don't all decide that they like the neighbour's land better.
posted by Kreiger at 9:25 PM on May 13, 2016
Bison bison bison duck
posted by Kabanos at 9:32 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Kabanos at 9:32 PM on May 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Buffalo Bison bison bison ("buffalo") Buffalo Bison bison bison ("buffalo") buffalo buffalo Buffalo Bison bison bison ("buffalo").
posted by metaman livingblog at 9:35 PM on May 13, 2016
posted by metaman livingblog at 9:35 PM on May 13, 2016
I love buffalo, and have stood in awe of a herd moving through my campsite on the back side of Catalina Island.
but
'Kitten-sized rabbits'? Tell me more...
posted by sweetmarie at 9:47 PM on May 13, 2016
but
'Kitten-sized rabbits'? Tell me more...
posted by sweetmarie at 9:47 PM on May 13, 2016
The word [buffalo, for bison] is an important part of American history.
The history of clueless Euro colonizers who confused bison with Asian water buffalo, much as they confused Native Americans for Indians, and then demanded in both cases that people continue to use the misnomer term anyway.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:12 AM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
The history of clueless Euro colonizers who confused bison with Asian water buffalo, much as they confused Native Americans for Indians, and then demanded in both cases that people continue to use the misnomer term anyway.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:12 AM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I can understand the outrage over calling Native Americans Indians. Bison, as wonderful as they are, don't care what you call them.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:12 AM on May 14, 2016
posted by Going To Maine at 11:12 AM on May 14, 2016
Did Smokey Bear know about this? Was he even nominated? Sheesh, he even speaks American.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:37 PM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:37 PM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Well thanks eye of newt, for that buffalo shot...
posted by happyroach at 12:32 AM on May 15, 2016
posted by happyroach at 12:32 AM on May 15, 2016
Not everyone believes the "clueless European colonizer" theory for the name buffalo.
posted by eye of newt at 1:32 AM on May 15, 2016
posted by eye of newt at 1:32 AM on May 15, 2016
Please do not celebrate this new status by taking selfies with bison, as [previously] discussed.
Also: Please do not put a bison calf in your car. Even if you think it is cold. Especially if you intend to put a seatbelt on it.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:48 AM on May 16, 2016
Also: Please do not put a bison calf in your car. Even if you think it is cold. Especially if you intend to put a seatbelt on it.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:48 AM on May 16, 2016
Well, to be mildly fair to them, if they managed to do that without being gored, the calf was almost certainly abandoned or orphaned. So it probably *was* cold. It's just that NPS doesn't normally do wildlife rescue. Circle of life and all that.
posted by tavella at 8:58 AM on May 16, 2016
posted by tavella at 8:58 AM on May 16, 2016
Sad followup - the calf was euthanized because it was "continually approaching people and cars along the roadway."
Sounds like you were right, tavella -- the calf was probably abandoned and looking for help before the tourists found it.
People still shouldn't put calves in cars though.
posted by sparklemotion at 1:03 PM on May 16, 2016
Sounds like you were right, tavella -- the calf was probably abandoned and looking for help before the tourists found it.
People still shouldn't put calves in cars though.
posted by sparklemotion at 1:03 PM on May 16, 2016
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I should go visit my local bison!
posted by sunset in snow country at 3:14 PM on May 13, 2016